Prior to having a toddler, clearly, I was never going to let any baby of mine watch children’s television.

But, well, real life happens doesn’t it? And sometimes the only way you’re going to be able to cook dinner / put a wash on / have a wee is to stick the television on.

And so, it has transpired that Sonny Jim has fallen under the spell of Fireman Sam.

And I have questions. Questions that our daily dose of Pontypandy life is not answering. Questions that I can’t be the only parent watching their gazillionth episode (I might be exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea) is asking themselves.

So, to get them off my chest, and in the spirit of solidarity with other Sam addicts, and hopefully, to stop me fruitlessly asking my agog toddler, here are some of the most pressing…

• Why does no one realise that basically every disaster that befalls the village could be avoided if Norman Price was in a young offenders’ unit? Or at the very least was given an Asbo or two?
• How can there be that much simmering sexual tension between Fireman Sam and Penny, when Sam is such a smug git?
• And how has no one rolled their eyes at Fireman Sam when he repeatedly comes out with utterances like “a good fireman is never off duty” and “saving the day? That’s what we’re trained to do”?
• Is the almost romance between shop owner Dilys and coach driver Trevor one of the saddest currently on our screens? Or are they really not that into each other?
• Is Station Master Steele colour blind? Otherwise, how can he not tell the difference between Elvis Cridlington and his cousin Jerry-Lee Cridlington. One has dark hair and the other is blonde.
• How has Pontypandy escaped all the cuts of recent years? I mean, it’s not normal to send two fire engines and a helicopter to a home where the toast is burning… is it?