So, last week was the week.
The week I’ve been dreading. The week I’ve gotten tearful about more times than I’d like to admit. The week I’ve been so tempted to push back. To put off. To ignore until I can’t ignore it any more.
Last week, Sonny Jim started pre-school.
It was only two mornings. A grand total of six hours. But it has left me something of an emotional wreck.
On his first morning, I was stunned in the best way, when my rather shy boy shed not one single tear when I left. Simply gave me a kiss, a big wave and a reminder to be “back soon mama.”
It didn’t last.
He got upset about half an hour later when some parents were late bringing their little ones and he thought it was me coming back. And then had a few wobbles throughout the rest of the morning. (That didn’t make my heart physically HURT to think of, at all!)
But lots of cuddles later, he was okay.
The next day, he was certainly not as keen to “go to skhoooooooool!”
He did cry when I said goodbye. He really cried. And as I walked out with his sobs echoing in my ears, my heart really did feel like it was going to shatter into a million places.
But a few minutes later, his key worker (who he has taken a shine to, thank GOODNESS!) reported he was just fine. And he continued to be so for the rest of the morning. He was even in no rush to leave when I went to pick him up. Happily getting his coat and waving bye to the other kids.
When I wrote a few weeks back about how much I was dreading this week, I got some good advice. The most helpful was to not go back, to keep it all light… and to wear sunglasses on the walk home (ideal for hiding those tears!)
So now, can anyone tell me exactly how I’m supposed to get through all the other ways I’m going to have to let my baby get on with growing up?