Throwback: Just days before I gave birth to Sonny Jim
Knowledge is power – or so the saying goes. But sometimes the more information you have, the harder stuff seems.
Take fertility, for instance.
Having had a successful round of IVF, three unsuccessful rounds of IUI, six months of clomid treatments and years of hospital appointments, I’d say I’m pretty well versed in this area of life.
I’m under no illusion that I can just have another baby at some time in the future (though medically, there’s no reason why that couldn’t happen – oh the joys of unexplained infertility!)
I know that post-35 the chances of IVF working start to drop – and dramatically. That when you hit 35 the risks – to mum and baby – rise rapidly. That you’re actually classed as a “geriatric mother” in medical terms.
I know all of this, but at 34, it sometimes feels like information overload.
My heart: Sonny Jim and me
It’s a man’s world… so the saying goes.
And nowhere is that patriarchy more apparent than when it comes to fertility.
For all the strides that have been made over the last century. For all the hard-fought rights (to vote, to own our own homes, to smash those glass ceilings) when it comes to having children, nature has us pegged at a real disadvantage.
Women get maybe a 20-year window in which to have their babies. And that’s it.
However we dress it up. Whatever advances that have been made by science, no one has really found a viable, risk-free way for women to put off children well into their forties.
At 35 women’s fertility goes off a cliff – conceiving gets harder and the risks to baby and mama go up too.
Fellas though? Well there’s absolutely nothing stopping them having little ones into their dotage. Continue reading