Mummy guilt hit when he fell ill and I was working

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Poorly pickle: My Sonny Jim

This week I got my first phone call from Sonny Jim’s preschool.

I was working, as ever trying to squeeze eight hours work into four, and as I hung up the phone it rang almost immediately.

I answered without even looking, to hear the voice of Sonny Jim’s key worker telling me that he was “fine, well not fine, but okay.”

It transpired that my little lad was rather out of sorts. When we’d got up that morning he had seemed slightly off colour, but I assumed it was the very last of his teeth cutting (honestly, it sometimes seems like he’ll be riding a bike before those very back ones come through!) I gave him a bit of Calpol, jollied him along and he went off to preschool in his usual fashion, “bye mummy, be back soon!”

But he’d gone rather downhill since I’d left.

And in that moment as they told me he was really not himself, that he was sad and saying “my tummy hurt, my bum hurt, my mouth hurt” that he wasn’t eating his snack and he was very hot, I got all the pangs of mummy guilt.

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Why can’t working mums afford nurseries?

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Flourishing: Sonny Jim has come on leaps and bounds since starting preschool

I need to have a little rant.

As you may have gathered (I am aware I have chatted a fair bit about it…) Sonny Jim has started pre-school.

It’s only a couple of mornings a week. Just to get my shy two-and-a-half year old making buddies and being brave without mummy always there holding his hand.

After a few tearful drop offs, and a now much-repeated refrain of “no school day, mama, no school” he’s settling in really well and is having so much fun.

So much so, that I already know that as soon as he turns three, I’m going to add another morning, or even another two.

Why am I going to wait until he’s three? Because that’s when his free funding will kick in.

And it’s this funding situation that has really got me in state of irritation.

Pre-school is expensive. To send Sonny Jim to his lovely nursery Monday-Friday from 9am-3pm would actually cost more than I earn. When he turns three, the Government covers 30 hours a week childcare. Continue reading

Preschool has left me an emotional wreck!

preschool, Katy Pearson, Sonny Jim

First day: Off we go to pre-school

So, last week was the week.

The week I’ve been dreading. The week I’ve gotten tearful about more times than I’d like to admit. The week I’ve been so tempted to push back. To put off. To ignore until I can’t ignore it any more.

Last week, Sonny Jim started pre-school.

It was only two mornings. A grand total of six hours. But it has left me something of an emotional wreck.

On his first morning, I was stunned in the best way, when my rather shy boy shed not one single tear when I left. Simply gave me a kiss, a big wave and a reminder to be “back soon mama.”

It didn’t last.

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