So lucky: My wonderful baby boy
Tomorrow will be my first Mother’s Day as a mama. I am beyond thrilled to be able to type that.
But as wonderfully special as the day will be for me, there are so many, many women for whom the day is the hardest of the year.
Before Sonny Jim, even though I’m lucky enough to still have my wonderful ma, I disliked this day. I waited nine years for my baby. Spent more than five of those years under various hospitals, undergoing tests and procedures, being stabbed with hundreds of needles, pumped full of different hormones and then constantly disappointed. Mothering Sunday became a day when scrolling through my Facebook feed felt a bit like death by a thousand papercuts. All those gorgeous babies snuggled up to their mamas. All those cute kids with their homemade creations. It hurt. More than I can explain. Continue reading
Sonny Jim with his daddy and big cousins, Ethan and Carter
A couple of weeks ago my husband took the baby out for the day. Without me.
It was a mere six-and-a-half hours, but I fretted about it rather an inordinate amount beforehand.
This was despite the fact I know Gary is just as capable as me at soothing our little Sonny Jim should he get upset. Despite the fact the little guy smiles for his daddy more than he does for me. Despite the fact Gary was taking him to his parents to spend time with his cousins, doting aunties and uncles and grandparents who would all lavish the little lad with so much love in my absence.
Despite all of this, my heart was aching beforehand. It was to be the longest me and the boy had been apart since he was conceived. Prior to this I’d only been away from him for a couple of hours – and never in an actual whole other town! Continue reading