You know you’re a mother to a toddler when…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydiduk

A proper toddler: Sonny Jim

Sonny Jim is still a good few months off the terrible twos yet, but it seems he’s starting early.

A tantrum in a café when I wouldn’t let him lay on the floor to watch the ceiling fan (honestly, the boy loves anything that spins) got me thinking that you know you’re a mama to a toddler when…

1 You think nothing of sticking a half-eaten banana in your coat pocket. And you only remember it’s there when you go to put another in.

2 The cold leftovers of your little one’s dinner? You totally eat them.

3 While you spent the first months of your tot’s life sterilising EVERYTHING, now you’re all about the five (make that 30) second rule. Continue reading

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Rubbish things no one tells you about IVF

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Worth it all: My Sonny Jim

The first IVF baby was conceived on this day, 40 years ago (#IVFis40).

To mark the (rather amazing!) milestone, as a mama of an IVF tot, here are some rubbish things no one ever tells you about it…

  • If you are a needle-phobe, it will either break you – or cure you.

By my reckoning, one cycle of IVF probably involves you getting stabbed about 70 times (in your belly, your thigh, in your bum cheek.) A lot of them you’ll have to do yourself, or get your other half to do. You’ll even have a special yellow toxic-waste sharps bin – like actual drug addicts on TV. Continue reading

Mummy guilt is here to stay. And I’m okay with that…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Guilt inducing: My Sonny Jim

Before I had Sonny Jim, guilt was something I felt every once in a while.

You know, when a hangover meant that I wasn’t on great form at lunch with my folks. Or when I realised it was my BFF’s birthday and her pressie was still on my table. Not posted and on her doorstep as it should be.

Since having a baby though, it seems as well as delivering a 7lb 6.5oz boy, I also birthed mummy guilt.

No one warned me that along with the sleepless nights, the teething and the unimaginable love, there would be this never-ending fear of not being good enough. Continue reading

A me&i moment…

me and i, police, #whatkatydidUK

Nee-naws: My Sonny Jim in one of his terrific me&i T-shirts

When I was about 18, Ann Summers parties were a big thing. Cocktails and smutty chatter were the main thrust of the night. I actually know a girl who bought THREE rampant rabbits.

Fast-forward a decade, a few of us had our own mortgaged places, a few were married, a few even had a baby or two, and Jamie Oliver bashes were the way to spend an evening, a glass of wine in hand. I once spent an RIDIKULOUS amount of money on a squirrel-shaped nutcracker – that broke the first time I attempted to crack a nut with it.

Now a mama to the most darling of little lads, I think I truly realised that I’d entered another era when I threw my own me&i party. It was a lunchtime affair. With tea and coffee and cakes. And babies crawling around our feet. And the most LOVELY clothes for little ones (and, er, mums.) Continue reading

Nine things NOT to say to someone struggling to have a baby

Katy Pearson, Sonny Jim, #whatkatydidUK

So worth the wait: Me and my Sonny Jim

Next week is National Fertility Awareness Week (#TalkFertility.) As someone who waited NINE years for her baby boy, it’s a cause close to home.

So, to mark it, here are nine things people who are struggling to have a baby really hate being told…

*Just relax… it’ll happen just as soon as you stop worrying about it.
Trust me, hearing this does not make you feel zen. At all.

*You’d be such a great mum/your husband will be such a great dad.
When you’re living with the fear you’ll never have children, this cuts. Deeply.

*It could be worse… you could have cancer.
Yes, generally things can always be worse. But this is kind of like comforting a person whose mother has just died by saying, it could be worse your mum and dad could have both died. Continue reading

Is it possible not to pass on our faults? I’m doing my best…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK, essex

Fear free – Sonny Jim runs along the esplanade

There’s a rather famous poem by Philip Larkin, which opens with the line “they f*** you up, your mum and dad.”

It was a somewhat outrageous read when I was 14 and studying for my English Literature GCSE – but the sentiment stuck in my mind.

Now almost two decades on, a mummy myself, I find myself pondering the truth of his lines,
“They fill you with faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.”

I am a worrier. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t had anxiety over something gnawing away at my gut, prickling just at the edge of my consciousness. In a weird way it has probably spurred me on in life. I might as well put myself out of my comfort zone, take the big leap, I’ll worry it about it, whatever I do. Continue reading

Don’t you want children isn’t just a question

Katy Pearson, pregnant, #whatkatydidUK

Long wait: Me pregnant with my Sonny Jim

Today one of my best friends is having her baby shower. I’m really looking forward to it…which is a new thing for me.

Pre-Sonny Jim, when I was struggling to fall pregnant, one of the things I found most tough was going to baby showers.

When you’ve been trying for a baby for years, have undergone a load of fertility treatment and nothing seems to be working, spending an afternoon looking at teeny tiny babygrows is painful. Continue reading