Motherhood has given me a confidence I faked before

Katy Pearson, underwear, #whatkatydidUK

Pre-baby: Outwardly confident

Confidence is a funny thing.

Often the people that seem the most outwardly confident are actually the ones who, on the inside, feel a bit of an impostor.

Pre-Sonny Jim, I’m pretty sure I fell into this category.

I bagged a job on a national newspaper at 20 years old and seemingly held my own in a tabloid news room for the next seven years.

I was a cheerleader for a bit and had no problem dancing at football stadiums in hotpants.

I even had a couple of modelling jobs – where I was totally happy to pose in just some underwear.

And yet. Continue reading

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It’s just as important we raise our boys to be feminists as our girls

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Best buddies – Emily and Sonny Jim

One of my pet parenting peeves is the way some people make a big deal about raising baby boys vs baby girls.

I only have Sonny Jim, but I can’t imagine I’d be doing anything much different if I’d had a daughter.

Admittedly there may have been a few more bows and frills knocking around our house (I am bit partial to them myself!) but surely the core values you teach any child – be they boy or girl – are the same?

Be kind. Don’t snatch. Be gentle. Share.

In as far as under two-year-olds can have best buddies, Sonny Jim’s is Emily.

They’ve been around each other since they were bumps – thanks to their parents meeting at an NCT class. Continue reading

There’s no way to be the perfect mummy

Katy Pearson, Sonny Jim

My little love: Sonny Jim snoozes

One of the things I’ve found since becoming a mummy, is parenthood seems to have a unique ability to stir up emotions that you thought were long suppressed or gone.

When I was little, I had a bit of a bad spell with bullying.

It was a horrid time. Which hugely shaped the woman I became and my outlook on life. Yet it’s not something as an adult that I’ve particularly dwelt on.

Then I had my baby.

And I don’t know if it’s the overwhelming love you feel that basically shakes loose every other emotion you’ve ever had. Or whether it’s the new and massive responsibility that makes you question every decision you’ve made. Or if it’s just the burning desire not to ever, ever, let down that most precious bundle that’s been entrusted into your care.

Whatever it is, it certainly opens the floodgates on your feelings. Continue reading

Why we should all be more toddler… well, sometimes!

Sonny Jim, toddler, Katy Pearson

Hang-up free: Sonny Jim

A massive part of being a parent is spent (obviously) trying to teach your little ones how to be decent people. It’s the main reason (aside from trying to keep them alive!) mums of toddlers seem to spend almost their entire waking hours repeating things like “no”, “ta, say ta”, “it’s good to share, remember?”

But watching Sonny Jim, I’m increasingly beginning to think that us grown ups could actually learn a thing or two from our youngsters. Here are some of them…

They have no issue saying no

So much of adult life is spent doing things we would rather not being doing, simply because we feel bad saying no. Toddlers have no problem making it quite clear that they don’t want to do something/eat something/go somewhere.

Forget body hang-ups

Ask Sonny Jim where his tummy is, and he will proudly remove any item of clothing covering it to show you it. And when does wiggling your squishy bum and dancing become something only to be done after copious amounts of wine? Continue reading

Mummy guilt is here to stay. And I’m okay with that…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Guilt inducing: My Sonny Jim

Before I had Sonny Jim, guilt was something I felt every once in a while.

You know, when a hangover meant that I wasn’t on great form at lunch with my folks. Or when I realised it was my BFF’s birthday and her pressie was still on my table. Not posted and on her doorstep as it should be.

Since having a baby though, it seems as well as delivering a 7lb 6.5oz boy, I also birthed mummy guilt.

No one warned me that along with the sleepless nights, the teething and the unimaginable love, there would be this never-ending fear of not being good enough. Continue reading

Is it possible not to pass on our faults? I’m doing my best…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK, essex

Fear free – Sonny Jim runs along the esplanade

There’s a rather famous poem by Philip Larkin, which opens with the line “they f*** you up, your mum and dad.”

It was a somewhat outrageous read when I was 14 and studying for my English Literature GCSE – but the sentiment stuck in my mind.

Now almost two decades on, a mummy myself, I find myself pondering the truth of his lines,
“They fill you with faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.”

I am a worrier. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t had anxiety over something gnawing away at my gut, prickling just at the edge of my consciousness. In a weird way it has probably spurred me on in life. I might as well put myself out of my comfort zone, take the big leap, I’ll worry it about it, whatever I do. Continue reading

Step away from those parenting books – you’re all your baby needs

Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK, Sonny Jim

Step away from the books… your baby just needs you

I’m a total bookworm. In my pre-Sonny Jim days, a week’s holiday would see me easily plough through about a dozen books. One of my thumbs actually bends back a bit further than it should, having spent so much of my formative years propping open hardbacks.

And yet when I was pregnant I did not read any parenting books. And when Sonny Jim arrived I didn’t crack open any guides to motherhood.

I’m not even sure why. I don’t know whether they just intimidated me a bit. Or if there was perhaps a bit of arrogance – me being determined to do it my way. Of course, there was always Dr Google, and a million different articles online which I often dipped into, but to be honest, I tended to seek out things that supported my own way of thinking – rather than looking for other people to tell what to do. Continue reading