Mummy guilt is here to stay. And I’m okay with that…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Guilt inducing: My Sonny Jim

Before I had Sonny Jim, guilt was something I felt every once in a while.

You know, when a hangover meant that I wasn’t on great form at lunch with my folks. Or when I realised it was my BFF’s birthday and her pressie was still on my table. Not posted and on her doorstep as it should be.

Since having a baby though, it seems as well as delivering a 7lb 6.5oz boy, I also birthed mummy guilt.

No one warned me that along with the sleepless nights, the teething and the unimaginable love, there would be this never-ending fear of not being good enough. Continue reading

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Is it possible not to pass on our faults? I’m doing my best…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK, essex

Fear free – Sonny Jim runs along the esplanade

There’s a rather famous poem by Philip Larkin, which opens with the line “they f*** you up, your mum and dad.”

It was a somewhat outrageous read when I was 14 and studying for my English Literature GCSE – but the sentiment stuck in my mind.

Now almost two decades on, a mummy myself, I find myself pondering the truth of his lines,
“They fill you with faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.”

I am a worrier. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t had anxiety over something gnawing away at my gut, prickling just at the edge of my consciousness. In a weird way it has probably spurred me on in life. I might as well put myself out of my comfort zone, take the big leap, I’ll worry it about it, whatever I do. Continue reading

Step away from those parenting books – you’re all your baby needs

Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK, Sonny Jim

Step away from the books… your baby just needs you

I’m a total bookworm. In my pre-Sonny Jim days, a week’s holiday would see me easily plough through about a dozen books. One of my thumbs actually bends back a bit further than it should, having spent so much of my formative years propping open hardbacks.

And yet when I was pregnant I did not read any parenting books. And when Sonny Jim arrived I didn’t crack open any guides to motherhood.

I’m not even sure why. I don’t know whether they just intimidated me a bit. Or if there was perhaps a bit of arrogance – me being determined to do it my way. Of course, there was always Dr Google, and a million different articles online which I often dipped into, but to be honest, I tended to seek out things that supported my own way of thinking – rather than looking for other people to tell what to do. Continue reading

Bins, pumps and muslins… my mama must-haves

Katy Pearson, Sonny Jim, #whatkatydidUK, Funki Flamingo

As snug as… a tiny Sonny Jim in a sling

Friends of ours are expecting twins (TWINS!!) next Spring.

We met up last weekend and after nattering all things baby for a bit, the mummy-to-be confessed that she felt totally clueless about all the stuff that she’d actually need when the babies arrive.

I was exactly the same. And there’s a whole huge industry out there preying on the ignorance of parents-to-be.

So here’s my mini list of the items I found most useful when Sonny Jim arrived. If you’re going to a baby shower any time soon, trust me, these will be a lot more helpful than an expensive newborn outfit that they are literally going to wear once… Continue reading

I thought I’d be a Pinterest mama, not Amazon Prime

Katy Pearson, Sonny Jim, whatkatydidUK

Better than any imaginings – me and my boy

IT’S a funny thing, but becoming a parent forces you to give up on childish ideas of who the adult you might be.

Since having Sonny Jim I’ve realised that being a journalist in New York – living a Sex and the City style life – isn’t actually for me.

Since becoming a mummy I’ve known for certain that I’m never going to just jump on a plane and lose myself on a beach somewhere, working in bars by night so I can sleep in the sunshine all day.

The ship has sailed for me to suddenly become the girl with the signature red lipstick and envious eyeliner flicks. With a picture perfect city apartment.

I’m never going to grow out of being clumsy.

I’ve never been more happy in myself, but this transition from the idea of the grown up you, to the reality of it, is easier for some than others. Though no one ever seems to talk about it – instead we all seem to muddle through in our own ways, in our own little worlds. Continue reading

I’ll do anything for my boy… even holiday in a caravan!

Katy Pearson, triplets, #whatkatydidUK

Summers as they were: Me (complete with a broken arm) with my little brothers and sister

MOTHERHOOD definitely does something funny to your brain.

When I was little our family holiday was always a week, spent in a caravan, somewhere along England’s south coast (apart from the one year we ventured to Wales, stayed in a chalet and it rained the entire time.)

They were lovely holidays – fun-filled and drama free – but I grew to hate the caravans. The fact the beds were so small that if you rolled over you rolled out. That unless it was baking hot (in which case you couldn’t get cool) then you were always a bit chilly – and everything just seemed, well, a bit damp. Continue reading

Transition into motherhood was real shock…and it’s not just me

Keri Jarvix, Do It Like A Mother, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Doing it like a mother: Keri Jarvis (centre) Photo by Petra Blacklock

“We have grown up thinking we can have it all, but we don’t realise that that means ‘do it all’. And we’ve got to look good at the same time…”

The rarely-spoken about challenges of being a mummy have inspired a hypnobirthing teacher to set up a new motherhood mindset mentoring program.

Mum-of-two Keri Javis, 32, of London Road, Westcliff, has helped more than 200 women have hypnobirths – yet grew frustrated with how the support for women seemed to end as soon as the baby was born.

She said: “When my first son was born, the transition into motherhood was such a shock. Once the initial excitement of meeting our baby had faded, and everyone else went back to their own lives, (including my husband 8am-6pm, five days a week) I felt utterly blindsided. I spent a lot of time alone with Louis, because when I forced myself out to groups, I just didn’t feel a connection to the women talking about how well their babies slept or some version of how amazing it was to be a mum. Continue reading