A few weeks back I got headhunted for a new job (aside from being Sonny Jim’s mummy I’m also editor of Essex Living magazine.)
It was a great offer and I was incredibly flattered (stuff like that never happens to me!) but it strangely reinforced just how much life seems to change when you become a mother.
Pre-Sonny Jim my priorities on the work front were (perhaps, obviously) the money, the perks, how much fun I could have with the job, how it would progress my career, and if it was a good chance to challenge myself.
When chatting to this new potential employer, I found myself asking all kinds of different questions.
Obviously the money was still important (they might be small, but my GOD children are not cheap to keep!) but I was now questioning working from home policies rather than champagne allowances (yes, I did once have a job where buying fizz on a Tuesday was a legitimate expense!) I was worrying about my office hours fitting around preschool opening hours. About flexible working. About security.
And in the moment I realised that while I’ve always been happy to take a risk when it’s just myself that could suffer if things don’t pan out (working double shifts on a national newspaper at 21 and not getting home to gone 3am was not much fun!) I’m absolutely not prepared to make Sonny Jim live with the consequences of my bad decisions.
Being a mother has changed so many of my priorities. And in a strange way, it’s made me value myself more too.
It’s made me say no to things that maybe I would have just put up with. It’s seen me look after myself better (snacking on chocolate all day isn’t a habit I want him picking up.)
I’ve turned down offers and opportunities that it seems like I “should” take – because I know it’s not right for Sonny Jim – or for me. I guess while I may have lost myself in motherhood, perhaps I’ve found someone better.