You know you’re a mother to a toddler when…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydiduk

A proper toddler: Sonny Jim

Sonny Jim is still a good few months off the terrible twos yet, but it seems he’s starting early.

A tantrum in a café when I wouldn’t let him lay on the floor to watch the ceiling fan (honestly, the boy loves anything that spins) got me thinking that you know you’re a mama to a toddler when…

1 You think nothing of sticking a half-eaten banana in your coat pocket. And you only remember it’s there when you go to put another in.

2 The cold leftovers of your little one’s dinner? You totally eat them.

3 While you spent the first months of your tot’s life sterilising EVERYTHING, now you’re all about the five (make that 30) second rule. Continue reading

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Rubbish things no one tells you about IVF

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Worth it all: My Sonny Jim

The first IVF baby was conceived on this day, 40 years ago (#IVFis40).

To mark the (rather amazing!) milestone, as a mama of an IVF tot, here are some rubbish things no one ever tells you about it…

  • If you are a needle-phobe, it will either break you – or cure you.

By my reckoning, one cycle of IVF probably involves you getting stabbed about 70 times (in your belly, your thigh, in your bum cheek.) A lot of them you’ll have to do yourself, or get your other half to do. You’ll even have a special yellow toxic-waste sharps bin – like actual drug addicts on TV. Continue reading

Mummy guilt is here to stay. And I’m okay with that…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK

Guilt inducing: My Sonny Jim

Before I had Sonny Jim, guilt was something I felt every once in a while.

You know, when a hangover meant that I wasn’t on great form at lunch with my folks. Or when I realised it was my BFF’s birthday and her pressie was still on my table. Not posted and on her doorstep as it should be.

Since having a baby though, it seems as well as delivering a 7lb 6.5oz boy, I also birthed mummy guilt.

No one warned me that along with the sleepless nights, the teething and the unimaginable love, there would be this never-ending fear of not being good enough. Continue reading

Nine things NOT to say to someone struggling to have a baby

Katy Pearson, Sonny Jim, #whatkatydidUK

So worth the wait: Me and my Sonny Jim

Next week is National Fertility Awareness Week (#TalkFertility.) As someone who waited NINE years for her baby boy, it’s a cause close to home.

So, to mark it, here are nine things people who are struggling to have a baby really hate being told…

*Just relax… it’ll happen just as soon as you stop worrying about it.
Trust me, hearing this does not make you feel zen. At all.

*You’d be such a great mum/your husband will be such a great dad.
When you’re living with the fear you’ll never have children, this cuts. Deeply.

*It could be worse… you could have cancer.
Yes, generally things can always be worse. But this is kind of like comforting a person whose mother has just died by saying, it could be worse your mum and dad could have both died. Continue reading

Halloween outfits for your little monsters

Katy Pearson, Sonny Jim, pumpkin, Look What Panda Made

Pumpkin picking: Sonny Jim in his monster leggings

Admittedly, as the daughter of a priest I probably shouldn’t get so excited about Halloween.

But I love any excuse to dress my little man up in a cute costume. And for those of you who are a bit like me in that respect, here are some of my favourite outfits for little ones this All Hallow’s Eve…

PS Here’s Sonny Jim totally rocking his monster trousers by Look What Panda Made when we went pumpkin picking in Battlesbridge, Essex, yesterday. And despite the many attempts made by him to pick up all the biggest ones, we managed to make it home with mud-free knees. So they’re totally going in the wash right now so as they’ll be dry again before all the spooky fun is over for another year… Continue reading

Is it possible not to pass on our faults? I’m doing my best…

Sonny Jim, Katy Pearson, #whatkatydidUK, essex

Fear free – Sonny Jim runs along the esplanade

There’s a rather famous poem by Philip Larkin, which opens with the line “they f*** you up, your mum and dad.”

It was a somewhat outrageous read when I was 14 and studying for my English Literature GCSE – but the sentiment stuck in my mind.

Now almost two decades on, a mummy myself, I find myself pondering the truth of his lines,
“They fill you with faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.”

I am a worrier. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t had anxiety over something gnawing away at my gut, prickling just at the edge of my consciousness. In a weird way it has probably spurred me on in life. I might as well put myself out of my comfort zone, take the big leap, I’ll worry it about it, whatever I do. Continue reading

Infertility isn’t a lifestyle choice. It’s a heartbreak you can do nothing about without medical help

y Pearson, Sonny Jim, IVF, #whatkatydidUK

A cut too far – I have my boy because of IVF on the NHS

ESSEX is within in touching distance of being the worst region in the country for access to IVF on the NHS.

Three Essex CCGs have already removed all provision of NHS IVF (Basildon and Brentwood, North East Essex, and mid-Essex.) West Essex is set to do the same.

And Southend? Well the CCG is looking to stop all NHS provision here too.

Currently eligible couples are offered two partial NHS-funded IVF cycles. About 50 people unable to have children any other way are helped here yearly – costing the NHS about £200,000.

IVF is silly expensive to have privately. Do you have a spare £8,000 (minimum) to blow on a single cycle with no guaranteed baby at the end? I don’t.

But it’s not a done deal yet. Southend CCG is consulting until October 26. And it’s so important you make sure your voice is heard. Continue reading